I grew up in a nominal Christian home, where if I was good I would go to heaven; if I was bad…hell. My great grandpa was a revival circuit rider with the shouting Methodists, so there was a godly heritage that had marked me; but I struggled with the connection because I didn’t really know Jesus. Amongst a lot of abandonment (because of my parents drug abuse) & abuse that surrounded me, Jesus began His call on my heart.
In the second grade, I went to bible camp, where a pastor shared Jesus’ plan of salvation with us. It didn’t make sense because of my paradigm of God; but Jesus would soon change that. Hanging in my room was a picture of Jesus knocking on the door. Every night I would go to sleep, my heart felt Jesus walk out of the picture & stand next to my bed–He would say He was knocking on the door of my heart. I always had my excuse why I wasn’t ready…I didn’t feel I was worth it. I continued to run for 6 more years…Jesus kept faithfully pursuing my heart. I ran to new age philosophy to fill the emptiness of my wounded heart, until a friend invited me to his church. The presence I felt there was so familiar–He had been waiting at the altar of that church for 6 years! Never once did He let His arms down, He never turned His face from me. I surrendered my heart completely to Him & immediately fell in love with Jesus.
My heart has found any & everything that I could ever dream of! I am completely satisfied with Jesus & have found so much healing. My heart has been set free to sing right to Him–He always loves to hear my voice. I am fully convinced of His love & the reason for my joy is the strength of His heart of joy!
