Introducing Vicki Joy Anderson

 

Hello, my name is Vicki Joy. I am a newbie here at Agape First. My story deviates a bit from the norm around here because unlike many of those in (or drawn to) this ministry, I have never had a struggle with same-sex attraction. I do, however, have something in common with many who do–misplaced sexual identity and childhood trauma.

Being born with a birth defect that deformed my face meant getting teased or bullied wherever I went. I couldn’t even go to the grocery store or a movie without being stared at, pointed at, laughed at, or called names. (Probably didn’t help that my name conveniently rhymes with “icky” either!) But even those who approached me with compassion, asking me what happened to my face—honestly, it’s violating when strangers demand answers from you that come from the deepest core of the most-wounded parts of your heart.

Long story short, after 18 years of school, dealing with peers, being bullied, beat up, name called, and never being asked out on a date…by the time I graduated from high school, I was emotionally drained and completely detached. I also felt left behind. My friends were all going on to do adult things like driving cars, going to college, getting jobs, or getting married…while I sat at home terrified over the thought of growing up. If I went to college, I could buy four more years, but then what? I’d been in survival mode my entire life…but after college, could I survive…on my own?!

I didn’t realize how deeply this fear was eating away at me until my sophomore year in college. I had an emotional breakdown and sought the counsel of a friend. He led me to Jeremiah 29:11. Even though I had been raised in the Church and knew Jesus, I remember being in awe of this young man who was able to so easily locate some obscure verse in the book of Jeremiah. (This was long before the days of cell phones and Siri, kids!)

As he read the verse out loud to me, that little room FILLED with the presence of God and it was as if the words were being spoken directly from His holy lips to my quivering, anxiety-ridden, broken heart.

“For I know the plans I have for you, Vicki Joy. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.”

I underlined that verse and wrote the date in the margin: January 11, 1991.

The entire course of my life changed that day. Overnight? No way! I’m still in process. But that was the day I realized I wasn’t a victim. God wasn’t a jerk or a sadist. He was ON MY SIDE. He was routing for me, fighting for me! He loved me, and unlike everyone else (at least in my own mind) He wasn’t ashamed of me, and He didn’t think I was ugly.

But, as I said, I am still very much a work in progress. I said a few paragraphs earlier that I don’t like it when I have to show the deepest core of the most-wounded parts of my heart with strangers. But that’s exactly what I intend to do right now. I’m going to share with YOU something I rarely speak of—but I do so because I believe I am not alone in this struggle.

I am 49 years old and I am a virgin. I am neither proud of, nor ashamed of this fact. But for many, many years, I believed I was a virgin simply because I was single and I had chosen to  obey the Word of God in this regard. But as the years went by and I (very intentionally) sabotaged every single potential dating scenario possible, I realized that my motives for being a virgin were likely much, much deeper than my being a “good, obedient Christian.”

For me, everything the Bible said about not having sex before marriage wasn’t a stumbling block, but a life line. It was like having a suit of chain mail on—a way of protecting myself from having to show the deepest core of the most-wounded parts of my heart to ANYBODY…EVER…including a husband. Nothing scared me more than the “H” word. Because a husband would have power…the power to cheat on me, abandon me, divorce me, reject me…and I was not going to EVER, ever let that happen to me again!

I don’t like sharing this with you. It is embarrassing to believe you lived your entire life from a perceived position of control, and then realize you were really operating out of toxic levels of fear and weakness. But praise the LORD, even when I was weak, HE was strong! HalleluYAH!

Plenty more to say on this topic, and plenty more likely will be said…by me…in this blog. So, if any of this is resonating with you or speaking to your heart, you are welcome to take this journey with me. Our goal isn’t to rush out and join a dating site, or to get married by some set deadline. Our goal is love and the eradication of all fear (because there is no fear in love). First, we learn to rest safely in the arms of the One who loves us. Next, we learn to open our hearts and love Him back. Then, if and when God takes us deeper, we learn, through fearless faith, to let go and to let others in.

Will this journey into the arms of the King of Kings be easy? I think C. S. Lewis said it best when telling little Lucy about Aslan the lion. “Safe? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course He isn’t safe! But He’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

Introducing Val Eliason

Hi! I’m so glad you have found my page! Thanks! 

My heart for working with Agape First is prayer and outreach. That has always been a part of my life. When we were missionaries in the Philippines, or now in the States working with Agape First. 

I am a wife of 40 years to Steve and we have 5 grown children. All of them miracles! We have a son that has identified gay for over 10 years and I came to Nate Oyloe’s ministry and have been a part of a parent’s group for about 7 years. My healing came in prayer at a prayer set when I totally surrendered our son to the Lord. It was so painful but it was where God took my burden away and I found total freedom and I can minister to others! 

 

Introducing Wendi

I came to know Jesus as my Savior when I was 8 years old. I did not learn how to submit to His leadership and learn to trust Him as a loving Father until I was 57 years old. 

Introducing Daren & Rhoda Mehl

Reverend Daren Mehl came to Christ at the age of 17 and began to minister on the streets of Minneapolis the following year feeding the poor and sharing The Gospel. Rev. Mehl spent three years traveling in the Midwest as a member of an evangelism ministry team which included missionary work in Trinidad where he had his first opportunity to preach from a pulpit. While attending college in Minneapolis Daren met Rhoda.

Daren and Rhoda got married in 2005 and they began serving in a local church where they participated in many community outreach events leading many people to Jesus Christ. Over 14 years they grew in their faith and became servant leaders in their congregation.

Having accepted the calling in their life to ministry, they are now dedicated to service work of the Gospel.

Their vision is to make disciples of Jesus, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, to call home the prodigals, and to reconcile people to their creator, calling people out of the darkeness and into His marvelous light.

Daren is a licensed minister with International Ministerial Fellowship.

 

Freedom United: Joy of Transformation

I presented this message at Freedom United: Jesus Transforms conference Friday October 8 at Plymouth Covenant Church. It was a message that had been growing in my heart as I’ve been seeking the Lord and praying about the times we are in and His heart as revealed in scriptures.

Freedom United: Joy of Transformation

by Pastor Nate Oyloe | Freedom United Conference Oct 8, 2021

Daren Mehl on Changed Movement

“I pursued spiritual counseling. Through the help of powerful books and resources I found my true identity… and then my behavior and sexual attractions changed. ”
— DAREN MEHL

Daren Mehl

In my early twenties, I attempted to live as a celibate gay, but that all changed the night I was raped at a party. The trauma threw me into a spiral of same-sex encounters. To avoid HIV, I moved in with my boyfriend and settled into a monogamous relationship. For nearly a decade, although I looked happy on the outside, I lived in constant inner turmoil and stress because I knew my homosexual behavior wasn’t who I was. I did my best to ignore my inner voice, but doing so came at a high cost to my personal peace and conscience.

All that began to change the night I was invited to a prayer service and told a friend about my inner battle. Deep down I knew I hadn’t been created gay but couldn’t reconcile why I had same-sex attraction. My friend prayed for me, and for the first time in my life, I saw clearly that my issue was sexual addiction, not sexual orientation. That night, my hope was restored in my long-lost dream to marry a woman and have a family. Right then and there, I asked God to end my same-sex relationship because I knew I couldn’t do it myself, and I asked Him to arrange it so I could marry a particular woman. When I got home that night, my boyfriend abruptly ended our relationship, and soon I was dating and eventually married the exact woman I had prayed for.

While this set me on a course towards personal peace and fulfillment, even as a happily married man, I could not break my secret addiction to gay porn. Despite my best efforts, I cheated on my wife with another man. In an instant, instead of feeling fulfilled and satisfied, I felt dead. I thought I’d lost it all—my wife, my unborn son, my best friends—but by a miracle of mercy and love, my wife took me back.

Desperate for help to get free from gay porn, I pursued spiritual counseling. Over the next year, through the help of many powerful books and resources, weekly prayer and support from a faithful friend, and my wife’s unconditional love, I found my true identity. For the first time in my life, I began to see the false beliefs I had about myself, men, women and my sexuality, and my sexual orientation changed. God healed my mind and my heart, and then my behavior and sexual attractions changed. I now see other men as potential friends, not sexual partners.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Today I am a whole person living authentically to who I am. My sexuality and behaviors are in line with my original design. For the last 12 years, I’ve been married to my beautiful wife, my gay porn addiction is gone, and now my sexual energy is directed toward her. I’m the happy, fulfilled father of a beautiful four-year-old son and three-year-old daughter.

Originally Appearing on ChangedMovement.com